Wearing so MANY Hats!

Hats: Mother, Coach, Groom, friend, sponsor, landscaper, course designer, MUGA...

Some of my hats fit like a glove. I LOVE being Muga. Being a Grandmother to Codi, is absolutely, the most AMAZING expierance. She is truly an unique child. I have figured out, being a Grandparent is Gods way of rewarding us Mothers, for not killing our teenage kids! So of those hats above, this fits the best.

I can design a stadium course or gymnastic exercise with the best of them....thank you life expierances, and those grand Prix riders I rode with in the 80's. I had John Pearce brother here this weekend, helping us set up a course....John is a BNR in the Grand Prix circuit. We had fun talking about mutual friends, and horses we knew back in my day. He liked what our course was, what we were setting, the gymnastics being set. Big compliment!

I can definetly cut a yard, not one of my favorite things to do though, but when I get done, my yard and pastures look like golf courses. I had a student tell me that once, that my pastures looked as good as the golf course at thier house....hmmm...

Grooming. I remember Missy showing five horses in a one day, and having them all clean, ready, and gorgeous. I don't think I can do that anymore. I forgot to mention, construction....but that too is going by the way side as I age, and my body is getting decrepit! I have pushed hard,worked hard, my entire life. So, I can keep up with a few horses, but not five!

This leaves Mother, Friend, and Coach.

I would like to think that I have been a good Mother. My son, who is off to college, getting his third degree, was born very Ill. The fight for his life, his milestones, his education, his right to be a part of normal society, taught me a lot. I KNOW on his school records, somewhere, I am probably referred to as "Bi**h". That's ok...it's what I had to be...school systems are rough on a special needs child, and thier Mom. But I arose to that occasion. The boy that they said would never function...well, he is way smarter then I am, and I am very proud of him!

Then there is Melissa. I know people think that "I" want to be at shows. I have been called some horrible names, made fun of, called controlling. Surely, it must be true to those who call me those name....except, the fact is, most shows, I try to stay home. Being a Mom to someone who has chosen this sport, is tough! Ask Valerie Ashker...it's hard, when you love the sport too, but it's your daughter and best friend out there on course, and you can't see them...

No, I have tried to stay home....and then had her ask, who will help me, if you do not come. Dressage, stadium, whatever...she has a bad day there, it's most likely points....a bad day on xc....not just points. I worry, what if? So I go....lol. But most of the time, it's because SHE wants me there. Most of the time, in dressage warm up, I stay away. You aren't going to fix it at the show....and that's her worst phase. So for those who think my going is control, or helicoptering....shove it!

What about coaching and being Mom? So many times, you want to take your child, the one who was six, and had the skinned knee, and hug them, and say, "that mean ole judge", but the other hat, the sponsor, or coach hat? That one has to say things like "suck it up", or "what were you thinking when you rode that line." That's the hardest one of all. Because that six year old child is still in that young lady, she still needs Mom, she still needs that hug. The obvious solution, get a different coach...duh right? But budgeting for that is a bit away. The people she needs to work with want a full time student...not the once in a blue moon student.

This leaves Friend. Our life is a solitary sport. It's you, a horse, and your skills. Days are spent riding horse after horse, occasional lessons, and fund raising. None are conductive to building friendships. Through necessity, the feed store, farrier, vet become your buddies. It's very lonely at times. It gets old, seeing the same person, day in, day out. This is my hardest hat...because so often, it comes after all the rest. A friend enables a friend. A Mother says.....???? You get the idea.

So it's all an odd life...being a business partner with your daughter. You hope they know how much you love them, that you want the best, and that those may not be the same thing they think is best, but that they know no matter how big the arguments, you want them happy.